


Two Months

by theychosefamily67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood, F/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 13:15:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13881615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theychosefamily67/pseuds/theychosefamily67
Summary: jessica-bones-winchester prompt:Sam takes a bath, but things go horribly wrong.Author’s Note: this is a dark one guys, dark with a capital D





	Two Months

Two months. It had been two months since we lost Dean. Two months since Sam knelt over his grave, his tears falling on the fresh dirt that covered his big brother.

We had driven for a week nonstop before Sam stopped. Some shithole hotel in the middle of nowhere. Lots of whiskey and junk food later, Sam tried to leave me, just like he left Bobby. I’d woken up in the middle of the night and the bed across the room was empty. I tracked him down, stole a car, and showed up the next day at his door. I told him if he ever tried that again I’d break his kneecaps. Held him tight while he cried himself to sleep. Held him even tighter when the nightmares caused him to thrash about. Since then he hadn’t tried to leave me anymore.

We had been tracking Lilith for about two weeks now and we were both exhausted. I was sitting on the bed, vegging out on some crap TV show when Sam announced he was going to take a bath.

“Ok, sounds good Sam.” I said, smiling at the fact that he actually felt like taking one.

Not meaning to, I fell asleep. I woke up hours later, expecting Sam to be at the table on his laptop, but he wasn’t.

“Sam?” I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Where the hell was he? I got up and looked out the window of the hotel. The car was still there. 

I went and knocked on the bathroom door. “Sam?” No answer. He had to be in there. Why wasn’t he answering me? I opened the door slowly, covering my eyes, trying to respect his privacy. “Sam? Sam?! Answer me!” 

That’s it, privacy be damned. I put my hand down…oh God. Sam was in the tub, water up to his neck, and it was red.

“Sam?!” I screamed, rushing over to him. “What did you do?!” His arms were floating beside him in the water, his wrists sliced open. 

“No no no no! Sam, wake up!” I grabbed his face, begging him to open his eyes. 

“Open your eyes, please. Don’t do this to me. I can’t lose you too.” 

What was I going to do? Stop the bleeding, I had to stop the bleeding. I ran out of the bathroom and grabbed a shirt. Ripping it into long pieces, I wrapped them around the deep gashes in his arms.

“Sam, you have to wake up. I’m not that strong of a lady, I can’t carry your big ass out of this tub!” I screamed.

I had to call 911. No, I couldn’t. A hospital wouldn’t just stitch him up and let him leave. There would be questions, they would admit him to the psych ward. I had to fix him myself. I flipped the knob up, letting the bloody water run out. Once it was gone I got a towel and covered him as much as I could. He was so cold. Oh god, how long had he been in here while I slept? With shaky hands I placed my finger on his neck. I let out a breath I didn’t even know I’d been holding. He had a pulse.

“Ok, I can do this,” I coached myself as I stepped in the tub. Placing my hands in Sam’s armpits, I pulled him towards me. Oh my god, he was so heavy! I didn’t want to hurt him any more than he already was, and if I tried to drag him out, I was going to drop him. I laid him back again.

“Ok, ok…” I looked around the bathroom. “Wait right there, I’ll be right back.” I ran into the bedroom, grabbing the pillows and the blanket off the bed. I put a pillow behind his head and covered him with the blanket. Running back into the bedroom again, I grabbed the keys to the car and got the first aid kit out of the trunk.

I jumped back in the tub, situating myself between his legs. I pulled his right arm towards me, and wiped the cut down with antiseptic. I tried to thread the needle, but my hands were shaking too much. Putting them down, I took several deep breaths to steady myself. I looked at Sam and noticed things I hadn’t before. He was pale, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He was so skinny I could almost see his ribs.

“Dammit Sam. Why did you do this?” I felt tears welling up in my eyes. No! He wasn’t gone, I could still save him. I managed to thread the needle and sewed the gash closed. I sewed his other arm closed as well, and stepped out of the tub. Now what? I guess all I could do was wait. I knelt down beside the tub and tried one more time to wake him up.

“Sam? Please wake up.” I gently laid my hand on his forehead, brushing the wet hair off of it.

Finally his eyelids fluttered, and then opened. 

“Oh thank God,” I whispered.

Sam looked around, confused, and then he saw me. “What did you do?” He rasped out.

“What did I do? I saved your life!”

“You should’ve let me die.” He sat up, staring at the bandages on his wrists.

“No way in hell was I going to do that.”

“Hell. Exactly. That’s where I was trying to go. No demon will deal with me, but if I die, I know that’s where I’ll go. Then maybe I can save Dean.”

I gasped. “Oh Sam…no.”

He just sat there, staring at his arms.

“Come on, let’s get you out of this tub.” 

I helped him out of the tub, got him dressed, and put him into bed. After he fell asleep, I went in the bathroom to clean it up. Wiping the bloody ring off the side of the tub, I finally broke. Heart-wrenching, gasping sobs racked my body. I didn’t mean to wake him up, but I guess I did, because Sam came back in the bathroom. I was on the floor, knees to my chest, rocking back and forth and sobbing. He got down on the floor and pulled me into his arms.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t do that again…ever.” I cried.

“I won’t.”

I pulled back, grabbing his face in my hands. “Promise me!”

“I promise.” He pulled me back into his arms, apologizing over and over. 

After I calmed down somewhat, he stood us both up and we left the bathroom. I crawled in the bed and Sam slid in beside me. I buried my face in his chest, still sniffling.

“Sam, I know you miss Dean, but so do I. And I can’t lose you too.”

He sighed. “I know.”

“We’ll find some other way to save him, okay?”

“Okay. Go to sleep. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

I nodded, wrapping my arms around his waist. He rested his chin on top of my head and pulled me close.

As I was falling asleep, I heard him say, almost under his breath, “Thanks for saving me”.

“I will always be here.” I whispered into his neck.

“Thank you.”


End file.
